Friday 21 November 2014

100 Word Challenge - Week 12 by Caleb

He was shocked to find me, the gorilla. I had a frying pan. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! I was hitting him with my golden frying pan against his metal, non-imaginative head. CLUNK! He yelped in pain and fell over. One of his guards (the one that looked like a demented bunny) gripped my neck. I fainted for a second and the Lord of Nulth yelled at the demented bunny and the bunny stopped. He looked at the Lord of Nulth and ran out the door. I must have knocked his non-imagination to imagination when I was hitting him. To be continued…
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2 comments:

  1. Anonymous23 November 2014 at 05:14

    Well done Caleb - this is a fantastic piece of writing, and I love your use of language and punctuation. Your cliffhanger ending is great, and I like the way you used first person - well done! To make your writing even better, remember to vary your sentence openers. Keep writing, Caleb, this is brilliant! Miss Hosmer (Team 100WC)

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  2. Anessa Rush ( team 100)23 November 2014 at 15:20

    Hi Caleb. I love your writing. You have used great language to describe the sounds of the frying pan being used to good effect. I liked the idea of the demented bunny! To improve your writing try to use use different ways of starting sentences. Keep writing . Well done.

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