Where Are They?
“Where are my
shoes?” I saw as I looked around for them.
I looked in these places, my closet, under my bed, in my dresser, in my
mouth (which is a weird spot to look but it is usually always there). This time it wasn’t. I also looked in the bathroom, in my living
room, my brothers mouth, P.S. his breath stunk!
Anyway I looked everywhere for them I even looked in outer space and
South Africa, South America, British Columbia, New Zealand. I even looked in Antarctica and the
Arctic. I finally found them and now I
can go to the ball.
Alexis -
ReplyDeleteThis is a strange story which shows some great imagination (I nearly typed "which shoes some great imagination"!). You've used some very good lists here: you really understand how to use them, I think. Using brackets for an "aside" (a little note or explanation which isn't part of the main sentence, like this one) also works very well.
Good writing,
-MikeB (team 100wc - Essex, UK).